I hate the crazy idiot stereotypes from New Jersey, "Prostitution Whore?" Really Theresa? Your stupidity is showing, oh and flinging your hair around does NOT cover up the fact that you have an eye that shoots off in a strange direction. I can't stand the Honky Tonk BS of the pretentious bitches in Atlanta, A Sip-N-See? Phaedra, Phaedra, Phaedra, are you actually a white woman from West Virginny who hit the lottery? I would love to call you white trash, and since you slammed your husband for being half white, I think I will. You are white trash, girl, and your fancy, phony ass is showing. Speaking of Phony, welcome to Beverly Hills, where Kyle Richards is able to stir the shit harder than a triple anal porn shoot.
Nope none of you trashy women have ANYTHING on my NYC girls. I openly admit to being just a bit in love with Bethenny, but DUH as has already been determined, I am a boob man, and she's got a rack of doom. I love her neurotic antics, and since I have a life where I shake my head and go WTF?! about 14 times a day, I can relate to some of the nonsense that happens to her. Unfortunately, the only woman on the show who I feel acts like an actual NYC resident, is no longer on the show. So here is a brief rundown of the chicks on this season, and my opinion of them.
Jill Zarin: Your husband owns a SHOP. A SHOP, You sell fabric. For furniture and curtains. You could possibly be a lovely woman, if you were someone else. Your life is only as fabulous as you tell us it is, and to be quite frank, you are boring and require self created issues to keep yourself entertained and feel valid as a woman. Have an affair. It is MUCH more interesting.
Ramona Singer: A woman I respect a lot once said to me, "When I see crazy I cross the street". Well Cross the street, baby, cross the street, because this crazy woman is about as predictable as a hurricane. You know it's gonna make landfall somewhere, and do an ass ton of damage to a trailer park. It may be a TP plated in 24 karat gold, but it's still a trailer park.
Alex Mc Cord: Brooklyn. Enough said. There are reasons why I almost never go above 14th Street. I REALLY hate the new Brooklyn. Range Rover driving size zeros, and urban hipsters trying too hard. Just buy a small apartment in the Village get real.
Sonja Morgan: This is the new Bethenny, the biggest difference is this bitch has teeth. The only one of the chicks that has the class, taste and sense of humor to be a REAL NYC woman. Tough, rich, hot, sexual and with her set of brass ones, I hope she takes over the world!!
Kelly Bensimon: Ah Kelly, where DOES one begin. I once stated that she was so Batshit crazy I was "Waiting for her to start speaking in tongues, picking at the spiders under her skin while she daubs her face with feces and telling everyone that it is the only way to keep the government from reading her mind and stealing her brilliance" This bitch needs to be medicated, and if she already IS medicated, she needs to stop doubling up on the pills. She couldn't tell the truth if it was on the cue cards she can't decipher anyway.
Luanne de Lesseps: Liar, Liar Pants on Fire. This woman makes me crazy with her piety, prudishness, and has absolutely no idea of proper etiquette and niceties. I want to sic some of my mother's Philadelphia cousins on her and give her a REAL lesson in proper behavior. Especially the snub. No one does the snub like Old Philly Money. TRUST me, it is 100% in our genetics. This phony Countess would last all of 2.4 seconds in Philly. I want her to come for a visit and get a good Old Money beat down. She is a snob to simply be a snob, Oh and bitch, stop singing, 35 years of Marlboro Lights do NOT make you sound like Marlena Dietrich, they make you sound like an out of tune oboe.
Cindy Barshop: Good luck, I have no idea who you are, but you rip and laser the hair on other women's pussies. Do you do anal bleaching as well? Somehow I think you will fit in JUST fine.
I can't wait!
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